Okay, I decided for a bit of an...irreverent take on some stuff for this short story. While writing it, I wondered if I was breaking one of my rules, but I decided that people secure in what they believe will know this is just a silly little story. Those offended would never want any of my stronger stuff anyway.
Yahweh looked at the flask of plague he'd opened and saw that it was running over to Elohim's tray. He gently cupped the nasty liquid and pushed it back towards his box.
"What do you use that stuff for anyway?" Elohim asked. "You build all that stuff just to leave it abandoned when your pets can't fight off your plagues?"
The adolescent pursed his lips and gave a look of haughty indifference to his lab partner(a look he was well practiced in). "You can't make everything rosy and nice. If your critters aren't strong enough to overcome small things like this, how do you ever expect them to reach their potential?"
"I think my 'critters' can reach their potential without my needing to kill half of them in the process," Yahweh said without looking over.
"That's why your creation won't amount to much compared to mine."
Yahweh just shook his head. He and Elohim had been having this argument since school began. Elohim treated his lab project with something resembling disdain and cruelty, while Yahweh nurtured and cared for his creatures with compassion. He knew that the things he was making would reach their full potential if unencumbered by such petty distractions.
Jehovah looked over from his own table. "You boys gonna keep squabbling? Can't y'all just shut the hell up and do your project? We'll see in a few weeks who's got the best."
"Easy for you to say, J," Elohim grumbled. "You screwed up your first project and the teacher let you flood it out and start over."
"My guys were messed up in the head," Jehovah retorted. "I gave 'em too much gratification urge at the beginning and it all went to shit. Stuff is coming along just fine now."
"Only because you make them afraid of you," said Yahweh. "I wonder if you're really going to follow through on that big finale you have planned once the school year is done."
Jehovah grinned as he mixed up another vial of technological advancement. "You never know."
Elohim and Yahweh finally glanced at each other as they shared a look of disdain for Jehovah. Out of the corner of his mouth, Yahweh said, "Zeus got to him too much. Worst lab partner ever."
"Yeah," Elohim replied. "Always a big show off, what with his lightning bolts and massive creature battles. He doesn't get how to grow these things."
Yahweh just harrumphed. This project was the culmination of deity class, and they couldn't graduate without it, but he thought Professor Elyon gave too much latitude to his pupils. Yes, there wasn't any scientific evidence these little creatures and their worlds understood what was going on, but that didn't mean they should be treated with contempt, which some of the students took pleasure in.
As if on cue, Jehovah shouted out, "Behold, I am coming like a thief in the night!"
"Not again," groaned Waheguru.
But Jehovah just smkiled as his project turned orange and then bright red. Sparks started to fly from the open container before finally dying down to a dull blue and then going out all together.
"You ever get tired of scaring the shit out of them?" Yahweh asked.
"Not a bit," Jehovah replied.
Huwa walked over to Jehovah and said, "You know, sooner or later your guys are going to stop believing you're about to trash their world. What do you do then?"
"Depends on my mood," Jehovah shrugged. "I still don't know if I'm gonna use my apocalypse when the year ends, or if I'm just gonna set the project on the windowsill and let it rot."
Yahweh recoiled in horror. "But you raised them. Don't you care if they love you? Don't you want them to grow strong?"
"You just worry about your own creation and leave mine alone. I just need a C out of this to graduate."
"Well, I plan on keeping mine," said Elohim.
"Why? It's just a throw-away project. Who cares if it dies?"
"Well, I want mine to grow strong."
"But you can't watch over them forever. Besides, if Professor Elyon's stories are correct, most of them will abandon us anyway. Why do you think I put so much into keeping them under control."
"You're a real piece of work," Huwa said.
"Thank you," Jehovah replied, a touch of condescension in his voice. "I know my critters would agree."
"If only we could introduce these groups," Elohim intoned. "Then we'd see whose was strongest. Mine will overcome so much they'll outshine any of you guys'."
"I guess we'll never know," said Zeus as he threw in several more lightning bolts into his jar. "Just the luck of the draw for who ends up in which project."
They all nodded. After all, in the end, these were just school projects anyway.
----------
"Keep it on your side,
Yahweh!"Yahweh looked at the flask of plague he'd opened and saw that it was running over to Elohim's tray. He gently cupped the nasty liquid and pushed it back towards his box.
"What do you use that stuff for anyway?" Elohim asked. "You build all that stuff just to leave it abandoned when your pets can't fight off your plagues?"
The adolescent pursed his lips and gave a look of haughty indifference to his lab partner(a look he was well practiced in). "You can't make everything rosy and nice. If your critters aren't strong enough to overcome small things like this, how do you ever expect them to reach their potential?"
"I think my 'critters' can reach their potential without my needing to kill half of them in the process," Yahweh said without looking over.
"That's why your creation won't amount to much compared to mine."
Yahweh just shook his head. He and Elohim had been having this argument since school began. Elohim treated his lab project with something resembling disdain and cruelty, while Yahweh nurtured and cared for his creatures with compassion. He knew that the things he was making would reach their full potential if unencumbered by such petty distractions.
Jehovah looked over from his own table. "You boys gonna keep squabbling? Can't y'all just shut the hell up and do your project? We'll see in a few weeks who's got the best."
"Easy for you to say, J," Elohim grumbled. "You screwed up your first project and the teacher let you flood it out and start over."
"My guys were messed up in the head," Jehovah retorted. "I gave 'em too much gratification urge at the beginning and it all went to shit. Stuff is coming along just fine now."
"Only because you make them afraid of you," said Yahweh. "I wonder if you're really going to follow through on that big finale you have planned once the school year is done."
Jehovah grinned as he mixed up another vial of technological advancement. "You never know."
Elohim and Yahweh finally glanced at each other as they shared a look of disdain for Jehovah. Out of the corner of his mouth, Yahweh said, "Zeus got to him too much. Worst lab partner ever."
"Yeah," Elohim replied. "Always a big show off, what with his lightning bolts and massive creature battles. He doesn't get how to grow these things."
Yahweh just harrumphed. This project was the culmination of deity class, and they couldn't graduate without it, but he thought Professor Elyon gave too much latitude to his pupils. Yes, there wasn't any scientific evidence these little creatures and their worlds understood what was going on, but that didn't mean they should be treated with contempt, which some of the students took pleasure in.
As if on cue, Jehovah shouted out, "Behold, I am coming like a thief in the night!"
"Not again," groaned Waheguru.
But Jehovah just smkiled as his project turned orange and then bright red. Sparks started to fly from the open container before finally dying down to a dull blue and then going out all together.
"You ever get tired of scaring the shit out of them?" Yahweh asked.
"Not a bit," Jehovah replied.
Huwa walked over to Jehovah and said, "You know, sooner or later your guys are going to stop believing you're about to trash their world. What do you do then?"
"Depends on my mood," Jehovah shrugged. "I still don't know if I'm gonna use my apocalypse when the year ends, or if I'm just gonna set the project on the windowsill and let it rot."
Yahweh recoiled in horror. "But you raised them. Don't you care if they love you? Don't you want them to grow strong?"
"You just worry about your own creation and leave mine alone. I just need a C out of this to graduate."
"Well, I plan on keeping mine," said Elohim.
"Why? It's just a throw-away project. Who cares if it dies?"
"Well, I want mine to grow strong."
"But you can't watch over them forever. Besides, if Professor Elyon's stories are correct, most of them will abandon us anyway. Why do you think I put so much into keeping them under control."
"You're a real piece of work," Huwa said.
"Thank you," Jehovah replied, a touch of condescension in his voice. "I know my critters would agree."
"If only we could introduce these groups," Elohim intoned. "Then we'd see whose was strongest. Mine will overcome so much they'll outshine any of you guys'."
"I guess we'll never know," said Zeus as he threw in several more lightning bolts into his jar. "Just the luck of the draw for who ends up in which project."
They all nodded. After all, in the end, these were just school projects anyway.
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